Audrina Patridge is "Mad" and LC is Jealous!

Audrina will appear on the comedy show, MADTV in October. Audrina posted on her official Blog,

“I can’t wait to show you guys a little bit of my goofy side.”

The goofy Miss Audrina is better known for her dramatic roles on MTV's hit series, The Hills, where she stars alongside Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth, with whom she's reportedly not speaking. After the turn of events this week, we wonder if Audrina's success is making Lauren Conrad insecure after it has been revealed that her failed fashion line will be defunct after this Fall/Winter season. Audrina is also set to appear in the sequel to the action movie, Into The Blue.

John Mayer's Gym Body is Gone With The Wind...

John Mayer, who recently came back into the spotlight after a self-imposed absence after his breakup with Jennifer Aniston, is looking a little, well, less oversize. Mayer, who was hitting the gym hard prior to and during the relationship with the b-list Aniston, has recently traded his workout sweats for his go-out sweats, ending his tour with a bang and an unknown blonde waitress. John may be upset over Jessica Simpson's recent communication cutoff from Mayer and her other famous ex, Nick Lachey. Jessica revealed to People Magazine,

"I don't want anybody that's been in my life (before) in my life anymore, and I don't want them to have any way of contacting me. ... I'm not just dating for fun. I want kids someday. I want a family."

Ouch! Burn John, burn. Which brings us to why John Mayer's figure is headed to the dogs: Ever notice that Aniston's castoffs always end up turning into oversize, slouchy bums, like Vince Vaughn? (See Exhibit A). Yeah, Mayer's headed there too. We just know it. Exhibit A.

Michael Phelps Gay Rumors Won't Go Away!

Michael Phelps, America's golden son, might be gay. Seriously. Rumor has it that his ''girlfriend'', Amanda Beard, who revealed that she never dated Phelps, may have been a tool in the Public Relations game to keep Michael in the closet to the American Public. Michael, who denies such reports, has also played coy with the media, choosing to basically state that ''A man's private life is his private life.'' All of this is alleged of course, and we don't mind if Phelps is gay at all! In fact, we know if for some reason he ends up inside a State Prison in California, he can now marry his cellmate!

Lauren Conrad is having issues only a psychic can understand!

We reported it first: LC's dinner date with co-star Whitney Port did not go well. The lunchdate, which also included shooting scenes for her MTV reality show, The Hills, left Lauren Conrad emotionally battered. Read more HERE. Lauren is having such a hard time dealing with all the changes in her life, she consulted a Psychic on Thursday September 4th. Close friend and confidante Whitney is rumored to be getting her own show about life in New York, and it seems the show is already Seguewaying into that direction. Meanwhile, rumors are flying that Lauren and Heidi have indeed buried the hatchet for the final season of the hit show, which draws in a large audience every week and is currently MTV's most popular program. Lauren seems to be caving from the pressure. Lauren was seen on Thursday at a Psychic's office in Los Angeles with a sign that read, "Maria Milagrosa Curandera Espiritual”. Lauren was also wearing a Kaballah string which we assume means she's making a desperate attempt to connect with some higher power. We only hope the visit can help Lauren resolve her apparent control issues.

Gemma makes a splash down under!

Supermodel Gemma Ward, a native of Australia, made a big splash this past year. The model turned actress-turned model again, received the Actress of the Year Award at the 63rd Australian International Movie Convention's box office achievement awards on the Gold Coast last night. Gemma, whose name you may not know but whose iconic lolita-esque looks have stirred controversy, may be more recently seen in mainstream print ads such as the one below for Dolce and Gabbana.

Jessica Simpson, Loretta Lynn to bring down the house...

Jessica Simpson and Loretta Lynn will be appearing on stage together in Nashville on September 6 at the Grand Ole' Opry. Jess, who is releasing her new, much hyped country cd, "Do You Know", is rumored to be completely happy that ex John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are no longer an item. We can't keep up, so we're not sure if she's still dating Tony Romo this week or not, but our prediction is that Jess and John will reconcile! We just want these two to be together! More HERE.

Keira Knightely Has A Mental Disorder To Give Up This:

Keira Knightly must be effed in the head. How do we know she is? Because she gave up Jamie Dornan! Okay, The picture we had up, we didnt have any rights to, and apparently people in the world don't share their pics of man ass. The ass pic is part of a set he did for Visionaire Magazine in France. But Jamie, Keira's ex, is in a new Campaign for Aquascutum. Jamie, the Irish model from Belfast, appears in superbly tailored clothes that Giselle Bundchen seems to want off of his hot body. You'll have to go to PinkNews.Uk for more. PinkNews HERE.

Nina speaks: Best for Fall

Nina Garcia, that beautiful, swanky, sultry Columbian-American has it all: killer highlights, a perpetual tan, sass, and a style Bible she wrote (We reference ours often). She's also just released her top 10 for Fall/Winter 2008. She's known for her impeccable taste, so we figured we'd pass along the word. For Fall, Nina is all about the ever classic- Little Black Dress. She's mad about statement Jewelry, as anyone who watches her on Project Runway knows, and she's Gaga about clutches.

"If you still have not invested in a clutch, this is the season to do so. There are so many styles to choose from, from romantic to punk."

So how do you translate that for an economy like ours? Recession proof your style mojo with our awesome picks. Read about the rest of Nina's picks for Fall here. In the little black dress category, aim for simplicity. The accessories change every season, so you can invest more in the dress itself, giving you better quality and overall more versatility. White House Black Market "Octavia" Dress is a classic form but the sexy cutout makes this a very high end looking garment. It resembles Marc Jacobs designs in it's anatomy but at $148 USD, it doesn't resemble the Marc Jacobs pricetag. Buy HERE. AS for the clutch idea, we found this wildly fabulous clutch from Forever21 for only $7.50! It's a great look and is available in Blueberry, Clasic (White), Raspberry, and Cherry. Grab em fast here! I know I shouldn't share this, but guess who much this little piece of beautiful art is? Shhhh... it's only $9.99. But don't tell everyone! It's Subversive for Target by Justin Giunta, a favorite of Vogue editors. His diffusion line for Target was pure genius, and it's all on clearance! Hurry! Buy it all Here!

Sighting: Nicole Leaving Traffic School

The Gossip Girls served up fresh Nicole Richie pics. Nicole is looking tres fabulous, if we do say so ourselves. She's pictured leaving Traffic School, which was part of that punishment for that little DUI plea deal she had back last year. Nicole is looking fierce! We love the look. It seems Nic is choosing a much more sophisticated wardrobe pallet these days, and we're proud of her turn around from wannarexic part pastey to svelte and sexy mom. Maybe a leopard can change her spots? More pics at the Gossip Girls after the jump. JUMP!

Russian Lesbians take on Marc Jacobs High Fashion

Remember that band from a few years back composed of two Russianish girls who made out and sang erotic songs for each other on stage while being doused in water? Yeah we didn't think so. They're called T.a.T.u., and the girl on girl duo who haven't had a hit in probably six years Stateside, have been named the new faces of the Marc by Marc Jacobs campaign. We're a little bit confused by this, but we're pretty sure it has something to do with Marc's recent marriage to his boyfriend. It will be interesting to see the results, because Marc always makes his ads look genius!

No Bar for Heidi and Spencer, but Green Acres Remake?

Spencer and Heidi may be the most hated couple in the recent invention of reality TV. Style magazine W claimed the real-life couple was in talks to open a place called The Hill in the Big Apple's Murray Hill district, but Pratt insists the rumours are false.

He says,"It's not true."

However, a source of mine says that we should be watching for an announcement from MTV about a "Green Acres" remake. Green Acres was a show that ran in the 60's with a theme about a city couple taken to the country and how they often comedically, adapted to their new life. Zsa Zsa Gabor headlined the show. So basically the show would be a Heidi and Spencer version of 'The Simple Life.' Heidi and Spencer reputedly are in love with all things 1960s, as evidenced by their apartment which was featured in US Weekly with that whacked out recycled 1960's television-turned-fishbowl. Heidi is no stranger to remakes, as she took great inspiration from Jane Fonda circa 1982 for her new music video. Watch The Fonda inspired Music Video HERE. See The Green Acres Wiki Page HERE.

Super Skinny Thinspo Darling Rupert Friend is a NAZI?

Rupert Friend is getting great reviews in the UK for his role as a Nazi in the new film, The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. No, I didn't make a spelling error. The Holocaust based film follows the storyline of a child who encounters Friend's character as a cruel emissary from the Master Race. As the UK's Times Online says,

"Friend was born to play a Nazi. Maybe it’s the high cheekbones, seemingly cut from granite, the piercing aquamarine eyes..."

More at the Times Online (HERE).

Lauren Conrad Gets Teary

Whatever happened at that lunch with Whitney that we reported on in our Seen and Unheard post, it must have been devastating to L.C. She was seen crying leaving the event by Mr. Paparazzi's (MORE HERE)spies on the streets of L.A. at celebrity lunch spot: Lemonade. Apparently she kept looking for photogs and then dryed her eyes, grabbed her Balenciaga and finished shooting the show. Could this be connected with Audrina's hospital visit? Or could she be upset over her recent decision not to film any more seasons of the smash hit, The Hills on MTV? Or could it be, Will Spencer and Heidi get their own spinoff of the show with Whitney Port? More on that development HERE. (pics courtesy of Mr.Paparazzi)

Rosie Blogs About Vice Presidential Nominees

It's a slow news day. So we thought we'd give the biggest bitch on the planet, Rosie O' Donnell some free publicity. Lord knows she don't need it, but it's fun to post this picture as often as possible. Show it to your kids and warn them about what happens if they get a daytime talk show and become famous for their manners and charities then publish a now defunct magazine followed by a stint on the controversial show 'The View'. The outcome of being an idiot with a very bad publicist? You're relegated to blogging about political candidates instead of acting in Oscar worthy dramas like Sleepless. Anyways, the former daytime darling is back at it again. Her Rants Here. No doubt we know who's voting for. Somewhere, Elizabeth Hasslebeck is crying her milk glands out.

Jonathan Knight May Come Out Soon!

"Jonathan has a [non-famous] boyfriend and they’re very happy,” an unnamed source told Perez. “They’re not trying to hide it."

So says Perez Hilton, who's unnamed sources almost NEVER lie. I mean really. When was the last time Perez had some bad info? Apparently Mr.Knight's been living out and proud as a gay man and has a boyfriend who works at Barry's Boot Camp in LA. Which is where it's rumored that Lindsay, Nicole and others have whipped themselves into shape in a matter of days. All we know is that this means the boyfriend must be fine, fine, fine. Now if only Melanie C. would join the group of former Teen Idols coming out...

Gay Inmates Allowed To Marry...

No, it's not another porn site you found in your husband's stash. Gay inmates in California will be allowed to be wed in matrimony. According to the San Jose Mercury News, Gay inmates in state prisons and county jails will soon be able to marry their partners, as long as their spouse is not also incarcerated, prison and jail operators said Thursday.

State prison and county jail overseers were putting finishing touches on the new policy to follow the state Supreme Court ruling in May legalizing gay marriage.

Gay inmates would have the same marriage rights as their straight counterparts, a Department of Corrections spokeswoman said.

"Inmates can marry noninmates; there is no requirements based on gender, as long as they're outside the prison walls," Michele Kane said. "But we're not changing our inmate-to-inmate policy. ... Safety and security, those are the top priorities right now." Read More...